At the age of 25, I just watched Toy story 3 for the first time and by the end I found myself crying uncontrollably for the first time since I can remember (probably like 5 or so years).
As I sit here trying to figure out what it was that hit me so deeply pixie Lott – cry me out has started playing on the radio (no joke). To makes things even weirder this was probably the song I was listening to when I last cried amid something with me and my ex all those years ago.
So what got me?
I looked up the date the original Toy Story came out and it was in 1996.
That would mean a 6 year old me sitting at home watching Toy Story.
Infact, as I watched the film I found myself wondering where my Buzz Lightyear toy was. Probably somewhere in the garage.
As the film got near the end I could feel that lump in my throat. I had no idea why, found it abit weird and kind of just thought it would go away after a while.
As I was engrossed in the film playing out I think I just forgot about it.
Then when it got to the last scene with Andy giving his toys to the little girl, playing with them for the last time and then driving off as the toys watch on, it was game over.
Tears actually fell from my eyes.
I feel things deeply but I don’t usually express them on the outside. I don’t know why, but over the years that’s just kind of how I developed.
It’s hard to remember what you did and thought as a child, but emotions well I guess they are different.
When you connect with an emotion, you understand everything without understanding at the same time. My mind knew exactly what my body was feeling and i’m now half an hour later trying to catch up.
Connecting with your inner child
I think it’s that connection from 25 year old me out in the real world and that momentary connection I just had back to 6 year old Nathaniel watching Toy Story and where I was at in that early time in life.
What my life was like as a 6 year old, what I enjoyed, what I wanted to do.
Watching Cartoon Network and wanting to be a presenter, actor and Rapper like Will Smith when I was older.
Would 6 year old you be happy with what you are doing now on a daily basis? Knowing how energetic and curious I was, making my own comics, playing my with my drums and acting out funny scenes I made up, I know they answer would be no.
The film is about change, growing up. Andy is leaving his toys and going off to college.
I watch and find myself feeling like Peter Pan. I don’t want to grow up. Not if it means leaving your toys, which can be symbolic for our youth, creativity, fun, joyfulness, innocence and trading them for work, money and the seriousness of life.
I took out my notepad to write down these thoughts but decided to write it straight here.
After the strip down challenge I decided I would really like to be as authentic online as possible. I think this can create a better connection with people and will also be more interesting for me to look back at moments in my 20’a and see what I was REALLY thinking, not just posts or videos that could have been written or made by anyone.
Maybe i’ll do a video version of this as well but these are literally my thoughts straight after watching the film. The kind of stuff I usually save for my notepad.
So what is the takeaway
I think it touched at something deep. Like a reminder from my inner child, my creativeness, my playfulness. I have to find a way to connect with that and do things that feed that innate feeling.
Thank you Toy Story for that reminder.
I don’t want to throw away my toys.
But I can bring them out of the attic and share them.
By this I mean being creative, making videos, daring to do crazy stuff. By doing this other people start to remember their toys, things they also want to do and are motivated to do it.
Sometimes you have to look back before you go forward.
Let’s dare to play, be creative and be in the moment.
We owe it to our young selves.
See You in 5
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